Uneventful month.... Got super sick last week and I've been basically recovering since then. Fortunately I feel better now, though! Just took a while to stop feeling constantly exhausted. Aside from that, still just doing schoolwork... I've only got a few weeks until I graduate, which is terrifying but exciting.

I rarely link to my presence anywhere else on the web (even though I'm not too hard to find lol), but I recently started using sheezy.art again! It's my profile I made in 2021, so it's got some old art on there, but if you're also there let me know! I want to follow more people on there but I'm pretty shy :P

I've been pretty unhappy with what I create lately, I had to take some time to like really think things out with what I want to do. While I've sort of worked it out with my actual art, I'm still a bit stuck with what I want to do with this site right now. There's a lot I'm not very happy with and I'm aware most of it is just me being overly critical with myself, I still need to figure out what is missing from my website design. I think I want to start shifting from focusing on visuals to focusing on the actual content of my site, and I think that might get me a little less stuck? I want to make a page for longer form writing and reviews, because I think that might be fun, and I also want to make a shrine to my favourite fictional character ever, Ashe Bradley from Witch's Heart, and then I want to make more vocaloid pages!!!!!!! I love vocaloid!!!!!!! I feel like I've gotten stuck in like, "I have to make an interesting looking website page", which isn't even true, I can just make simple things and put them on here, every page I have on here is super simple like why am I suddenly putting this standard on myself? I need to stop comparing myself to other people and other websites online. I've got my own charms and fun traits and I just have to remember that.

I don't know why, I just like putting my goals for my site on here. It's a good reminder as well as a fun little update for anyone checking my site.

here's a little image of my fursona I drew for my index and then realized it won't fit. I like it so much I think I'm actually going to redesign my homepage a tiny bit to make it fit there somehow.

I've been meaning to write something for the past few weeks and just keep forgetting. However, it's a leap day, so I thought it would be fun to have a journal from today! I feel bad that this site has been on the backburner for a while- I want to start doing more creative things but I've unfortunately been very busy and very tired. Incredibly low energy in general, I really hope to get back to it all soon... T_T Almost done with my degree. I really like the work I'm doing right now, though, which is awesome. I spent 2 hours today sorting preserved salamander specimens in jars.

Long(Medium??)-term website goals for those curious:
-Finish vocal synths page (I have the layout down but want to make it look nicer)
-I would like to eventually have most of the art on my personal pages be my own. This might be difficult, because I'm very good at disliking my art after a few days.
-Minor homepage update for the 10000th time.
- Potential about page rehaul eventually.... This is more distant future, though.

Of course I first need to be able to create anything at all just for myself before I can even think about doing any new updates for my website, aside from adding on to older pages. But that's been difficult. I've barely drawn or written or done a single creative thing the past few weeks. Have I been busy? Not really!!! I'm just burnt out, or something... I really want to get back into the swing of things but it feels SO HARD!! I'll get there, though... Just might take some time.

I've been playing through pokemon platinum recently- I've never played any mainline sinnoh game despite sinnoh being the newest generation when I first got into pokemon. I didn't have a DS at the time. It's pretty difficult, especially as someone who's only played more recent pokemon games, but I'm having fun. A lot of my favourite pokemon are from sinnoh, so I'm excited to get further into building my team. I really like pokemon.

First journal of 2024!!!!!!!! ^_^ i haven't been doing too much lately aside from enjoying my winter break with my friends and family and doing fun things I like. winter break is over and my classes start tomorrow, which I'm a bit scared for, but i think it'll go well. and it snowed all day today!!! There's a lot of beauty in the world that I've been enjoying lately.

I've been playing a horrific amount of pokemon mystery dungeon lately. explorers of sky is one of my favourite games of all time. I've finished both the main story and the postgame, I'd never actually played the explorers of sky postgame before and I really did find it beautiful. I've been so sad that i'm done with all the story the game has to offer (aside from special episodes, but I only really want to play the grovyle one). I wish it never ended. But now that I am done with all the story i've been doing the crazy person completionist stuff, like right now I'm trying to recruit some of the legendary pokemon and get the seven treasures and get to the highest rank, that sort of thing. Once I 100% the game I'm going to have to play it again, with the exact same team, because I'm really attached to my riolu and shinx. I need pmd explorers of sky FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've tried playing the other pmd games this month, but I'm so specifically fixated on explorers of sky right now. The game play of the other games is different in ways that just makes it all feel too off. There's a lot of quality of life improvements in pokemon super mystery dungeon, but then I get kinda sad that they changed how you get missions and recruit pokemon and they got rid of IQ stuff (which is overall good but I did start liking it the further I got into it) and the special items anddd so much of the special little stuff from explorers of sky is shifted. I think if I can get myself out of explorers of sky brain I REALLY do want to try gates to infinity just to see if its as bad as some people say it is. The premise seems cute but I never got too far into the game because it's really one of those unova era "we can only use unova pokemon" games and so the starter pokemon selection always made me a little sad. Not that I dislike the unova pokemon but you could really see the spinoff games around the time insisting on unova pokemon only, like pokepark 2 did that too. and the fact that you can't speed up text like in the other games always bothered me.

Anyways. Wow this is so much more than I usually write for my journals. I fucking love pokemon mystery dungeon.

Almost done with this semesterrrrrrr @_@... Made it through the worst of it, just have one more final and then I'm free for.. about a month... Being this close to getting my degree is terrifying. But life will continue.

I've genuinely felt more like a schoolwork machine than human person recently, but I've been trying to do things in my free time instead of just rotting away on the internet. I downloaded a bunch of games onto my dearly beloved 2ds XL, the two big ones being PMD Explorers of sky as well as pokemon super mystery dungeon, which were two of my favourite games when I was younger. I've been putting off replaying them for years because I have weird sentimentality with save files, and most of my save files for my PMD games are from when I was in middle school, so they feel like historical artifacts at this point. Redownloading them digitally let me have a new save file without having to tamper with my old ones at all, so hopefully.. Its worked. I started replaying Explorers of sky today, i was scared that maybe my opinions on it were nostalgia clouded but no it is such an enjoyable game, I'm loving replaying it so much so far. I really like pokemon.

i haven't done much actual website page making recently but I'm hoping that'll change soon. My goals right now that i hope to finish in the next few months are my vocal synth page (which i have been working on recently!!!!), a slight redesign of my OC pages(+maybe make some more), and maybe an art/doodles page somewhere down the line(I've been putting this off for almost 3 years now). This website turns 3 in January, which is crazy!!!! I'm really proud to have been working on something for that long ^_^ even if its been a bit slow.

It snowed the other day and it was delightful. I love winter.

I have been feeling very ill the past few days. It's sucked. very fortunate that i have an important appointment in just a few weeks because I am so tired of feeling sick all the time. I stay silly though. I haven't been doing very much lately outside of going to classes. Partially because of aformentioned "I feel sick all the time", partially because I genuinely just don't have the time or energy for anything creative right now T_T. Funny to me that my last entry was like yayy i have more time to work on website ^_^ And then college hit me

I've been finally trying to start my top 15 vocaloid songs of 2023 playlist now that its november.... i get kind of sad limiting it to 15 songs but that's how i started doing it in 2016 so i'm not just going to stop now 7 years in. My current problem this year is that, for some reason, most of what i considered my "favourite songs of 2023" were actually released in super late 2022.... Jeep by A4., psi by r-906, journey of 3 basic needs picdo... 3 songs that I now consider some of my favourites of all time... All either late november or december 2022 songs. thats crazy!!!!!! Here is what i have so far. I left two spaces open in case there are some crazy december bangers like there were last year.

I really do think about vocaloid more than I think about basically anything else, aside from "Oh god I have to do my Assignments", which has been all consuming the past few weeks. have almost reached a break... i love my classes and professors this semester so i'm sad they're ending but I hope I have just as much fun next semester. :) however i MISS HAVING TIME TO DO OTHER THINGS!!

for a fun little end of journal image: Basically the only things I have drawn this month. Junos!

I've been doing a lot more website stuff recently.. :) Which is nice because It means i have time and energy and motivation to work on my website and having time and energy and motivation to do anything these days is a joyous occassion and a miracle and i love to celebrate it. I have a pretty long to-do list i hope to work on soon but for now I'm just working on finishing/editting/remaking some old pages, rewriting some stuff, etc. Having fun ^_^

I really do want to make an art page but I haven't been finishing much art this year which makes me sad, but also everything I have drawn has just been of the same two characters that I honestly do not feel like showing anyone. I hopefully will one day but I don't know. I'm kind of weird about having ocs

I've been trying to get over my friendless weirdo tendencies. I'm still super withdrawn and that sucks, but I've actually been meeting more people and making friends and going to events and it's been wonderful. I'm sad it took me this long to start doing that, but I'm glad it's happening at all. I have been having a lot of fun and I hope to have more. Still dont think I'm doing anything for Halloween though LOL. We'll see

Happy October! I'm very excited for the weather to get cooler, though it was super hot today after being like, normal fall temperatures the past few weeks T_T... i just want it to be cool again........

Yesterday I fell horribly and ended up injuring my wrist pretty bad. on my dominant hand too... luckily i can still use it to type and write and draw without much pain as long as im really careful, but thats about it, and im taking those easy until I can see the doctor and figure out how bad it is. Hopefully it is not that bad and I will not have to stop drawing and writing and typing, because I like to do all of those things.

ive recently been trying to figure out how to draw Ashe Bradley from witch's heart. I've been kind of obsessed with him lately. (the past 4 years) Here's one i drew yesterday (yes despite my injury) because I love ending these journals with a little image of some sort

He is so cute. If i could tear him apart i would.

I am so tired of exams.

I think I'm very fortunate at the moment to be at a place mentally where I'm handling more stress than I used to be fairly well. That doesn't mean i'm not absolutely exhausted and like a little bit sad about it all though. But my daily life has been very fun even if it is stressful. A lot has been changing and it has been a little scary but at the end of the day I'm having fun with friends and there's so many beautiful things out in nature. You can find mushrooms in so many places if you just keep your eye out for them. its crazy. the other day I was just on a walk and I found a lactarius indigo, which is one of the coolest mushrooms out there because it is blue. I was so excited.

I don't have very much to say right now but i've been like "i should do something to my website" for the past few weeks and I then I write like a single sentence before giving up. I finally watched stranger things season 3, only 4 years late. I'm not sure why they brought the russians into it. I also started watching the new adventure time but I've been too busy to catch up with it before getting spoiled. Which is fine. It's also pretty good. I'm not usually a big "shows" person, but i guess somethings shifted.

baby coelacanth.

making this many journal updates in a month has been unheard of since the original version of this page from like february 2022... I dont know, I feel like after stagnating for basically all year I'm finally picking things back up. For a little bit of a more personal update than I usually prefer to put here, i've been struggling a lotttt this year. A lot of stuff has gone wrong but I think(THINK!!) things might finally be turning around. While I'm going to be unbelievably busy, I'm taking classes i'm really excited about, meeting and talking to new people, trying to get myself out of this hole I've kind of been stuck in this year.... I've been feeling pretty good about it so far. Hopefully I don't crash and burn too bad with how much work i'm going to have though. it's only the first week of classes and i've barely had time to do anything outside of work...or play peggle.

I dont have much to say here today actually. I just wanted to put that update here because I've been feeling pretty good this week and I'm very happy about that :). I'm hoping i can draw a little this weekend I havent even been able to touch my drawing tablet the past week or so and I get antsy without art. I hope everyone reading this is doing well too

i don't want to update my recent listens page until i make the new one but I have been greatly enjoying this demo song for the new cevio reml. wakuwaku dokidoki gucha put your hands up....

Everything in my life rapidly fluctuating between "Its so over" and "I think we might be sort of back". I can't be fully back unfortunately but man I'm trying. I just moved back to college and my sink is broken.

they randomly revealed vocaloid-β studio has prototype vocaloid voicebanks for UTAUs gekiyaku and kazehiki. I don't care too much about kazehiki but I've always enjoyed gekiyakus voice so some sort of upgrade is pretty neat, as much as I love utau and using it I still get excited when utau voicebanks get moved to anything else (except for when it's ace studio. I hate ace studio.) Her vocaloid-β bank is missing some of the power I really loved from her utau voicebank but it's still pretty good.

i finished Pikmin 4! I almost 100%ed it but unfortunately was unable to bring it with me to college. Absolutely amazing game, I wish i could play it all over again, so cute so many creatures. every time one of my pikmin died I wanted to cry.

Im obsessed with the Pikmin Breadbugs. They are the cutest things ever. That i had to kill them is a crime.

july went by way too fast, it's already only 10 days until I head back to school. To be fair august has gone by absurdly fast too because i just got my wisdom teeth out but still... where did it go. wish i could have gotten more done this summer, I had a lot more creative stuff I wanted to do... but I had some fun and i played some video games and i created a few things so it wasn't entirely wasted. dealing with my health recently has been hard enough and it can be hard to be patient with myself regarding it all lol. Been a bit lonely lately but i'm dealing with it.

I'm trying to finish pikmin 4 before I head back to college. I'm fucking obsessed with moss the ugly green dog she's so cute and funny looking.

is this not perfect.

I want to talk to people more online still I'm getting there but man It's still so scary. Sorry!

ive been a bit ill lately but there's joy and beauty in every day. ive been very slowly participating in artfight this year but im unfortunately artblocked right now.. hoping to pick up a little more in the next week..? taking it all one day at a time.

sasakure.UKs new album released on streaming last night and i really like it. A lot of songs i already really liked so of course i'm going to like it but i like the album exclusives too... this ones my favourite i think.

i do keep realizing ive been going like a month or 2 in between updating my recent listens page lately... T_T That makes me sad. I keep forgetting it exists. i want to talk about vocaloid thoughhh... but updating website hard.. Oh well

LEO IMAGE

It's been a while.........? I feel like every time i try to write up a new neocities page at all my brain just immediately gives out. However I thought it might be good to try and write a little more personal life update instead of having another journal entry thats just "Yeah too tired to work on this website right now. Sorry!" because that's stupid.

had a pretty shitty semester but managed to make it through my 3rd year of college...! feels crazy to even say i'm 3 years in because it feels like it's all gone by so fast. it's been a little rough but i'm getting through it. I haven't done anything too impressive yet but i'll try to have a good last year of it and get something real done so i can at least feel like I didn't waste my entire college experience. Early 20s are weird.

one thing I've been trying to do in my free time the past month is finally get through my long list of "rpgmaker games ive always said i will play one day but still haven't". Because I really do feel like a fake rpgmaker fan specifically for the fact that i have never played ib or yume nikki in my like 10 years of being an rpgmaker game "Fan" (those are next on my list though....!!!). however instead of starting any new ones i first spent a week or two completely replaying the entirety of witch's heart instead. It's really good, still. If anyone has any rpgmaker suggestions would love to hear them.. I'm currently playing end roll, and then I might play ib? I've also been playing a lot of other video games. Finally hacked my wii u so i can play mario kart wii online and I've started replaying super mario galaxy 2, and I've also been playing a lot of toontown with my friends. It's been very fun. I'm just trying to chill out for a little after like the worst college semester ever before I actually throw myself back into being productive.....

I've really been trying to get over my fear of existing online that i've had for like the past.... 2-3 years.............. i have no plans to ever use social media publicly too personally anymore, but i have a lot of art i've never really shared online that i've been trying to post more. I even started posting on my art twitter again. It's so scary. in general this year i've found myself drawing more fanart than I think i have in the past 3 years combined... i'm not sure what's happened. I've always been more of an original characters sort of guy but this year I really have gotten into drawing videogame characters. and vocal synths. a lot. which is interesting to me....

ive been thinking a lot about this song today. I already have it on my favourite vocaloid songs page (i should update that soon...) but I really do feel like I should mention it here too. It's one of my favourite songs ever. It means a lot to me

i don't have much else to say though this is the longest entry ive written here since i overhauled it. Hope everyone is doing well out there

not even going to lie just the concept of updating my neocities right now mentally exhausts me. i know i have no pressure to put anything on here but mann i miss 2022 when i would go to class and think of website pages. I don't have that drive right now, though maybe i'll get it back.. Just a little burnt out, or something, maybe...? I might just be tired all the time for no reason though. this semester can't be over soon enough.

I don't have much going on right now. simply having fun and playing. i have played through kirbys rtdl deluxe about twice now. it's good.

sorry for no updates at all in 10 million years. my computer completely died. like there was no getting it back from the point it was at. it was done for. unfortunately my new computer has a different screen resolution (the screen is a lot nicer. its really crazy.) so now i'm actually going to have to fix my homepage, and probably this page as well. I'll do that EVENTUALLY! I've been very tired and sleepy recently I kind of don't want to do anything. I haven't even been able to draw....

Other than that absolutely nothing has been going on in my life. I'll try to update my vocaloid pages soon. I have a lot of stuff I need to do and a lot of strange unusual health problems so unfortunately neocities Is a bit on the backburner right now.

Happy new year! Today is my birthday!!!!!! I am now 21 years old. doing nothing for my birthday but i'm having fun anyway ^_^favourite food for dinner.. playing some video games.. etc.

went on a trip to visit my partner for a week... had such a wonderful time there. i'm already a bit more hopeful about 2023 compared to 2022 but i also don't remember how i felt about 2022 at the beginning of that year. It was a bit of a rough one. I will make this year as good as I can and if anything happens then it will just happen.. Hopefully wonderful things will happen, though.

I don't have much else to say. I still haven't finished my favourite vocaloid songs of 2022 playlist (i need to find one more song...). I've played 25+ hours of pokemon scarlet in the past 2 weeks and i caught a shiny tandemaus last night (one of the less cool looking shinies in that game but i was still thrilled to get it). I want to create more art than ever.

finally starting to feel better, have gone 2 days without any weird illness symptoms which is awesome. really hoping this keeps up... i will be really sad if i feel sick and shitty for christmas. which is so soon! I cant wait.. Ill get to play pokemon scarlet.

I don't have many other interesting updates.. Playing a few videos games... getting out of the house a lot.. trying to spend time with my family.. etc. Desperately trying to get the new goatlings goat token ADs (I am not getting them.). Making pinterest boards for characters i like, Hanging out with my friends as much as i can. just trying to do things and be human after basically being out of commission for 3 weeks. I haven't gotten to draw in foreverrrrr, i'm trying to remember how. Here's a juno i drew as a little warmup for today.

Shes kind of strange.

i've been dealing with like 1000 physical health issues since i last updated, sorry for not doing a single thing on here. I'm remaking some pages and working on new ones, im just either so sick or busy all of the time it's a literal nightmare. Just a little magnapina neocities update.

in some better news, since the year is coming to an end i've been trying to make a new yearly vocaloid playlist. In 2016 i made a "Top 15 vocaloid songs of 2016" playlist(which is nearly entirely gone due to the Hazuki no Yume Incident). And then i didn't make another one until 2020. and then last year I tried making an entire page on here for 2021 vocaloid songs, but it ended up being way too much work (i checked it earlier today and i wrote 2,500 words. about 2021 vocaloid last year. and it wasn't even half finished) and so i just wasn't able to finish it on time. I made a playlist compiling all of those songs though, it's here. it might as well be a "most popular songs uploaded in 2021" playlist but i like most of the songs there still anyways. Here's my 2022 one so far, too. There's a few songs on it that i never put on my "recent listens" page so it's SLIGHTLY different from just looking at that page. I need to finish it, but i'm still recovering from a week+ long migraine. I'm taking things slow right now. i really, really like vocaloid.

I want to get the new pokemon game............

the weather was very nice today which made me happy. it was chilly (sort of) and sunny so it wasn't too cold or anything...

i've been thinking about the cnidaria phylum today. i love that the portuguese man o' war and coral and jellyfish are similar enough to be in the same phylum. Bitch's love polyps. they're not my favourite sea phylum but i can definitely appreciate them. the way they exist perplexes me. they don't have a nervous system. and no brain......... life must be so simple for them.

i've also been getting really into Little creatures games recently. i downloaded dragonvale a few weeks ago because i played it a lot as a child and it's great. it's very "Phone app from 2010" in how it functions and it has so many weird little bugs thati can't even be bothered because it's just simple fun. i got a sun dragon today and i'm excited about that. i've also gotten into goatlings recently which is a website and not as much of a game but it's got little creatures there so it's like similar. Just having a lot of fun right now ^_^ beautiful world

i love the little images i added to this page they keep making me happy. 10/10 idea

some recent thoughts...

- deleted this page for a bit, decided i'll bring it back but remove most of the entries, just wont talk too much about my actual life in it. putting things about myself on the internet is terrifying, the internet in general is terrifying, i don't like putting too much of myself out on here.

- i kind of hate the colour orange now. it was my favourite colour for years but i think it's gotten a bit old. i was thinking of changing this page from orange, but then i realized i could put waddle dees here. and that made me pretty happy.

-neocities has been bothering me for a little. took a break, hid my profile for a bit, etc. honestly still not a fan of the general neocities atmosphere at the moment but i think i'll just avoid "neocities" itself and stick to updating my website and nothing else.... idk.

-i want to make my homepage look nicer..... i don't know if i'll ever be happy with it. idk. if i do change anything ill probably keep the same general images + aesthetic and just change the layout up a bit. I've been meaning to fix the code forever because it's still pretty broken, but.. i'm just kind of tired all the time.lol

it is mikus birthday. and i spent a very long time drawing an image for her birthday so please look at it thank you. I don't have any other place on my website to put this because i keep refusing to make an art page so it's going in my journal. thank you for looking at it

you can click on it to see it bigger. I needed it somewhere on my site because so much of it is vocaloid but i didnt have time to make a specific miku birthday page because ^I spent the whole time i could be doing that drawing the image instead and also im a full time college student. so this is all we get.

other than that everything is going ok. very sleepy today though

this is completely uneditted and barely looked over i am writing all of this straight into the neocities website editor not even an hour after i woke up after the building maintenance into my apartment with no notice beforehand that they would be loudly knocking on my door to look at my thermostat right in the morning. this will sound incomprehensible and insane.

ci flowers design got revealed last night (here)and im sorry i have to talk about my issues with this design. note that im not one even like a vflower stan or anything she's a good voicebank and i really like her design but i did not care about her cevio voicebank other than the fact that i thoguht it was funny that she was trapped for 2 years with nothing being said on whether or not they would make her cevio or if they had just silently cancelled it or what. also note that i dont really have any issues with the art or the design itself if it weren't flower, like if they said here's our new design for a completely new voicebank i would probably be like oh ok. thats nice. and think nothing else of it. but the fact that its meant to be tied to flower.. and flowers old designs.. it bothers me. im sorry

my main issue with the design is that it's just like, painfully generic. it's like when brands try to simplify and smooth out and "modernize" logos .but with vocal synthesizers. like the firefox logo of vocalsynths, or. or something. i dont know. like, a lot of cevio designs kind of feel similar and this one fits right in with that. which is kind of sad because i like when vocal synth designs all stand out. this just kind of feels like ONE and IAs new sister or something. the outfit is just so bland. i dont even know if thats supposed to be a zipper there. i thought the jacket was kind of interesting at least until i realized that flowers gynoid talk design had a COOLER big jacket and then i was like well why couldnt they do something like that one then.

i'm also sad they got rid of her purple .. her whole design feels a lot lighter and desaturated compared to the older designs and i know part of it is probably an art style difference because miwashibas art style is just very colourful but STILL... its just so.. its too desaturated. while looking for more old official art of v4 flower i was reminded that her hoodie used to have fucking ears like thats so fun why would you ever get rid of that. in general the whole aesthetic shift from vflower to ci flower is just so strange like idk. its like theyre just making her as generic and marketable as possible when i think part of the appeal in her old design was that it was just like really fucking cool, it stood out from a lot of the other vocaloids. it worked on me that was the main reason i first started looking for songs with her when i was like 13. she wasnt even that popular yet. and like i would consider her v4 voicebank to be one of if not the most popular non-crypton vocaloids currently like bitches LOVE vflower. why are they changing her design so much then.. like while people generally consider the change from v3 flower to v4 flower to be pretty big i never considered it to be that much other than like like generally making her more androgynous.. ci flower took away her androgynous swag. which is not what im most sad about with this design because i was like kind of expecting that from the sillhouette.. but still. but this design is just such a big shift and not in a fun way the design is just so bland idk. im sorry. just make her goth again.